The Sexy Suit Conundrum
by It'sElementaryMyDearWatson18
Summary: Set during 3x18. The Scene where Penny and Sheldon go suit shopping. Need I say more? One-Shot. Rated K  for a little language. Sheldon/Penny  if you squint .


A/N: Hello, World of Big Bang Theory Fanfiction! This is my first entry here, and I have been eager to try my hand at writing BBT for a long time now. I hope I do it justice.

When I can't sleep at night, I tend to turn to watching re-runs of the Big Bang Theory. When I watch the episodes, I tend get offset by some random scene or line spoken by one of the character. Then I have to go write something about it...this is one of those little times...

Rating: K+, nothing severe.

Paring: PennyXSheldon

_Clothes make the man. -Mark Twain. _

XIX

As soon as he makes a beeline for the multi-colored suits, I knew this shopping trip was blown to hell.

The guys and I had all tried to help Dr. Wack-a-Doodle overcome his weird fear of speaking to groups of people large enough to trample him (for future reference, in case this ever comes up in say, a Jeopardy question about people who can bore large groups of people to death, it's about thirty six adults or seventy children.). In fact, the boys had had some pretty brilliant ideas, including a therapy session from the child of a world-renowned therapist and Indian meditation involving lots of candles, but unfortunately for me, they had come up empty on the Sheldon front, leaving me with the entire career of Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper resting on my shoulder.

In the infamous words of Dr. Beverly Hofstader, "Yikes."

So I loaded the good doctor into my beat-up, barely functioning car, (affectionately named Old Red) and listened to him ramble for the entire duration of the drive to the mall about how he believed that his safety was being "compromised" inside this "less than satisfactory, death trap of a vehicle". I had ground my teeth together and barely made it to the parking lot without slapping him. Finally we both got out of my car and headed for the nearest suit shop.

Thankfully, half my work was nearly done.

Now all that was left was to get Sheldon a decent looking suit, buy it, and have him at the auditorium by eight p.m.

If only it went as smoothly as it had appeared inside my head.

But it seemed that the odds weren't in my favor today. (See what I did there? See Sheldon? I _do_ read books.)

Once we got inside the shop, I immediately headed towards the silver rack filled with suits the color of coal, and selected a jacket and pants combo that I thought would be around the wack-a-doodle's size. He, on the other hand, headed for a midnight blue and white striped suit and matching pants, holding it out for my approval. I made a noise of disgust, and crinkled my nose. He put it back on the rack and turned towards my choice.

I ran my hand over the sleek fabric. "Ooh. This is nice." I said, holding it up against Sheldon's lanky torso. My mind was immediately assaulted with images of the physicist wearing this well beyond elegant suit. Against the navy of his eyes and the paleness of his skin, he would look absolutely gorgeous in it. I nearly swooned.

No. Bad Penny. You have mission. Do it and get the hell out.

I shook my head clear of those dangerous thoughts, and continued to hold it up for Sheldon. He looked down at it thoughtfully for a couple of minutes. Finally, he took the hanger from my hands. "But it's only one color!" He replied, handing it back to me.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "So?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. I held it out in front of me to look at it again.

He bent down, fingers prodding the insides of the jacket until he found what he was looking for, the tag. His eyes went large, as he stared at the figures printed on the card. He held it out for me to see.

"That's a lot of money for just one color!" He exclaimed.

I sighed indignantly. I could already feel a headache blossoming inside my skull. So much for the sexy suit. I hung it back on the rack roughly and turned to look at Sheldon. "Then why don't you show me what you like, and we can go from there?" I asked, in the calmest voice I could muster.

He bit his lip, crossing his arms over his chest as he surveyed the racks and shelves the store contained. "Hmmm." He murmured.

I leaned heavily against the clothing rack as the crazy guy made his way from place to place, looking about for a suit that accommodated his outlandish and overall wacky tastes. At last, he chose one, but disappeared behind the curtain of the dressing room before I could get a good look at it.

"Well this is pretty sharp." He noted before emerging from the little room. He stepped into the light of the store, sporting a suit that looked like it had been tossed into a blender with a bunch of other equally ugly suits and then placed on a rack. Just looking at the mismatched patterns was making me dizzy.

"No, you're wrong." I said shortly.

He seemed slightly disappointed in my reaction to his choice, but none-the-less returned to his inspection of the store's collection of suits, still wearing that God-awful...thing.

I pulled out my phone to text Leonard an S.O.S, when a flash of green whizzed by me, which I could only assume could mean that Dr. Wack-a-Doodle had found another choice. God help us all.

A couple of minutes later, a "This is Great!" came from behind the curtain. I dropped my cellphone back into my bag just as the curtain was drawn back.

And just when I thought his selection in suits couldn't get any worse...

Sheldon Cooper steps out in what I can only think to be as some sort of rodeo get-up that you would find back in his home town.

My initial thoughts were confirmed when he said, "I had a suit like this when I was six."

My jaw hangs open slightly. I can only shake my head slowly.

He looks like he's about to question my judgement, but shuts his mouth and restarts his searching.

On the third round, I don't even notice that Sheldon had disappeared back into the changing room until he says,

"Okay I think we have a winner."

I put down the tie that I was looking at, and come to stand in front of the curtain. _What the hell has he come up with this time? _

He walks out of the dressing room in a stark white suit, complete with an equally horrible duck tail sticking out of the back. I groan.

"Where the hell did you find that one?" I ask, coming closer to get a good look at it.

"The prom department." He replies, as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

I stare at him, incredulously. "It's ridiculous." I state.

Now his face displays the annoyance I'm feeling. "Says the former member of the Corn Queen's court." He snaps back.

I roll my eyes and resist the urge to insult him any further. I go back to the original suit I had chosen. I pull it from the rack, and hold it out for him to take. "Please, Sheldon, I'm begging you. Just try this one on." I all but whine.

He reluctantly takes the suit from me once more. "Fine." He concedes. "But anything I try on now will only pale in comparison." He counters.

I run a hand over my face and laugh sarcastically.

XIX

It only takes him a few moments to switch between suits. When he reemerges from the tiny room in the licorice colored suit, I feel a familiar buzz seep throughout my body.

Yep, I was spot on about the gorgeous part.

In fact, for the first time in probably his entire life, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper PhD looks undoubtedly sexy.

And I am totally turned on by it.

I feel my hands go to my chest in surprise. "Sheldon, sweetie! Wow! You look fantastic!" I say, reaching up to run my hands over his shoulders. I feel him stiffen, and then drop my hands as I remember his 'no touching' rule.

He gives me a look. "Don't be absurd, I look like a clown." He complains.

"An extremely hot clown." I whisper under my breath, blushing.

His cheeks are tinted a bit red as well. He ducks his head, and I see that the tips of his ears are pink in embarrassment. _Damn his vulcan hearing._

He fidgets with the buttons on his cuffs, and I finally shake myself from my ogling long enough to help him fix them.

"Please tell me you'll get this suit." I say, pleadingly, as I insert the last link into the tiny hole.

I can feel the last bit of his patience with my proximity to him begin to dwindle as his body goes stiff as well...a stiff. "Fine." He agrees.

I drag him over to a mirror so that he can at least get a good look at himself. He looks completely stunning. Who the hell cares if he passes out if he looks like that?

Finally, he changes back into his regular clothes, and we head to the register to pay.

I know one's things for sure.

Sheldon isn't the only one whose going to need a little liquid courage tonight.

XIX

Sheldon just looked so hot in this scene, and with the look on Penny's face when he walks out, I just couldn't resist. :)

PS. I don't own TBBT or The Hunger Games, so don't sue me.

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